


Mandora The Evil Chaser

by BlackCatula



Category: Thundercats (2011)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:06:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCatula/pseuds/BlackCatula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An introduction (or possibly a whole mini-series) dedicated to introducing Mandora The Evil Chaser into the Thundercats 2011-verse!</p><p>In this first chapter (inspired by a hilarious side mission from Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel), Mandora helps wrangle up a couple of Tabbot bandits, only to start spouting complete gibberish when some hidden miscreant starts feeding hilarious nonsense into her speech processor!</p><p>If I do end up writing more chapters for 2011!Mandora, they'll go here!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mandora The Evil Chaser

"Halt! In the name of Intergalactic Federal Law!"

The voice echoed loudly between the red stone boulders of the canyon, bouncing off the bristling pine trees and circling its way right into the ears of two Tabbot bandits and two Thundercats currently engaged in a heated exchange of conflicting opinions over the ownership of several bags' worth of money and assorted remarketable goods.

"Great, a scene! Just what we need!" one tabbot grumbled as he slammed his shoulder into Lion-o, throwing him to the ground. "Come on Balkis, time to scoot!"

His accomplice, Balkis apparently, seemed hesitant. "But Terbel...the money!"

His response was cut short by the whirring sound of some airborne vehicle rushing past, coming in hard and fast for a landing. As Lion-o's vision cleared, he caught a glimpse of it before returning to the fray. It looked like some kind of motorcycle covered in heavy armor...one that could fly, apparently?

"Hold still!" Panthro roared, grabbing Balkis by his entire face and shoving him to the ground. "Lion-o, grab the other one!"

He snapped back into the moment, making a mad dash after Terbel, who was already trucking his way toward the thorny overgrowth near the sheer canyon cliff off to the side.

"I said HALT, you bozo!" the unidentified voice shouted again. Lion-o risked a glance in its direction just in time to see something flying straight toward his head. He skidded on his heels to a halt, dropping backward just far enough for the thing to whirl right above his face with a loud whoosh before throwing himself back upright again.

A moment after, he heard a loud thump, like an ax blade connecting with a tree trunk, and he saw Terbel fall face-forward. The flying thing ricocheted away, gained altitude, then made a wide arc and came back around and down to the same spot it had been thrown from. It was snatched from the air by a hand gloved in red, attached to a slender, human-shaped body that was now approaching him with a distinct rapidity.

"Did you really think you could outrun the long arm of the law?" The voice was stiff and oddly forced, and, as Lion-o noted when the body ran past him, belonged to someone very female.

He groaned, picking himself up to his feet as he watched her subdue the tabbot, keeping her knee on his back as she shackled his wrists. He then turned to face Panthro, who was still keeping Balkis down without much trouble.

"You there!" she said, quite suddenly standing right behind him, tabbot in tow.

"Whoa," he said, stepping back defensively. "Easy now...and also, uh, thanks...I guess. For helping us catch these guys."

"These two are wanted fugitives charged with larceny, assault, and public indecency," she recited, as if reading the charges off a list. "So I guess I should thank YOU for your assistance in apprehending them."

"A pleasure, I'm sure," he said, watching her walk right past him to lay the cuffs on Balkis. He took a moment to size her up. Aside from the black and red leather body armor, the first thing he noticed was her visor helmet. It covered her entire face from the lips up, and there was only a narrow, glowing band of yellow where her eyes should be. Presumably, the whole helmet was some kind technological device for enhancing vision. Maybe she was blind underneath it. The second thing he noticed was the holstered boomerang at her hip. That must have been the thing that had almost taken his head off earlier...

"You can't do this to me!" he heard Balkis protest.

"Like fun I can't," the woman replied, tugging both him and Terbel to their feet. "I'm authorized by Intergalactic Federal Law to act according to the official Evil Chaser designation: bag 'em, tag 'em, and drag 'em."

"Intergalactic Law?" Panthro asked. "Never heard of the place. Figured you weren't from around here, though."

"I get around," she said, rather curtly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get these two lowlifes loaded into the Electro-Charger for transport."

"...where exactly are you taking them?" Lion-o asked, still unsure what exactly to make of her acquaintance.

"They'll be escorted to a penal colony on Wayoutback Island," she answered testily. "Hope they like mandatory hard labor."

"You CAN'T do this, I have rights!" Balkis wailed again.

"Quiet, perp!" she commanded, then turned back to Lion-o. "Looks like you folks have some mandatory hard labor of your own to attend to."

He glanced around at their campsite, completely trashed and wrecked from their skirmish. The only thing still standing was their giant tent. "You're not sticking around?"

"It's a busy job, pal," she said, clenching a fist. "Full time, 'round the clock, no overtime pay. It's a matter of--hey!"

She dove hard on the fleeing Terbel, wrestling him back to the ground. But not before he had somehow fished a small wireless device out of his pocket and pressed the red button. A small explosion rocked the ground near her motorcycle, sending dirt and dust flying through the air.

"What do you think you're doing?!" the woman demanded, bearing down hard on her detainee as she regained her balance. "You just earned yourself another three to five years in private service for a boneheaded stunt like that!"

"Hey, where'd the other one go?" came Lion-o's voice from behind.

She whipped her head around, visor glowing with a vicious, fiery yellow. "You let him escape?! Tch, rookie mistake…".

"Hey, give the kid a break!" Panthro grumbled. "It was my fault, anyway. Explosion tipped my balance and gave him just enough wiggle room to get away."

"Who in the name of Thundera ARE you, anyway?" Lion-o asked, returning the sword to its place in the claw shield.

She stared back at him for a moment, as if processing the question required more mental energy than she'd anticipated needing for basic conversation. "...is this my first time visiting this planet?"

Lion-o raised an eyebrow and shot a glance over to Panthro. He only shrugged in response.

"In that case," she said, standing up, but keeping one boot firmly against Terbel's spine, "Sorry for the rough treatment. Call me Mandora, Evil Chaser, First Class."

She flipped open a small wallet featuring a glowing badge that read exactly that. Below it hovered a rotating hologram simulation of her head, surrounded by statistics and numbers and words neither Lion-o nor Panthro recognized. And, just as quickly, she flipped the wallet closed again and stuffed it back in her pocket.

"Alright, back to business," Mandora continued, stepping down from her tabbot-shaped stepping-stool. "I can't return to HQ with only half a bounty on my hands, now can I? I'm slated to haul BOTH of these sorry miscreants off to the slammer, all or nothing. Let's get this scumbag locked down so we can sniff out his accomplice."

She hoisted Terbel to his feet and pushed him over to Lion-o. "Don't let THIS one escape," she added, with an extra squeeze of acid in her tone.

Lion-o frowned, clutched the bandit's shoulder tightly, and begrudgingly escorted him back toward the tent, wondering just when he'd been demoted from King to watchdog.  
Not that it would matter much anyway. Cheetara and Tygra would be back soon with food, and the Kittens were scheduled to report back from their scouting mission any time now. He knew he could easily flip the task over to any of them. The thought didn't make him any less frustrated for the moment though.

"Just perfect," he heard Mandora groan as she scoped the damage on her motorcycle. "Look at what that cruddy bandit did to the Electro-Charger!"

"Hmm, doesn't look too bad," Panthro chimed in, waving away the dust in the air. "Looks like the plating was thick enough to protect the wheels at least. Probably going to need a new headlamp and maybe a guidance system if you've got one though…".

She turned sharply to face him, having previously not even acknowledged his presence. "...are you a mechanic?"

"Sure am," he replied, dropping to his knees to have a closer look at the framework. "You break it, I can fix it!"

She watched him tinker for moment, as she ran the situation through her head again. She could surely repair the Charger on her own, she knew that much, but it could take hours going solo, provided there were even parts available on this particular patch of planet. A second set of hands would speed the repairs up considerably. Clearly the optimal solution.

"Some of this junk is tech even I don't recognize," Panthro admitted, standing up again. "But I know a circuitboard when I see one. I bet we can fix it up enough that it'll get you where you need to. I can probably spare a few parts from the ThunderTank, even after all it's been through…".

"I'd certainly appreciate it, stranger," Mandora said, tugging her glove back into place.

"Call me Panthro," he said, extending his arm.

She hesitantly grabbed his hand, gave it a single, firm shake, and nodded.

Lion-o leaned against the makeshift table inside the tent, sulking as he watched them write up a checklist and scrap a few pieces off the Tank for her repairs. He shook his head, wondering when on Third Earth the others would get back.

"It isn't fair..." Terbel muttered, from his place on the floor.

"Shut up," Lion-o grumbled, glaring back down at him. "What you've done to others isn't fair either, so it all evens out in the end."

"You don't understand," he sighed. "No one ever does…".

"All bandits say that," Lion-o replied grimly, looking off into the distance, hoping to catch a glimpse of someone, anyone else. "If you wanted someone to understand you, you shouldn't have turned to crime."

"What choice did I have?" Terbel groaned. "When the authority doesn't listen, why should you keep them IN authority?"

"Because without authority, all of society would be in chaos!" he shouted, louder than he'd meant to. "You have to have someone at the top to make sense of all the bottom!"

Terbel spit on the ground, inasmuch as that was possible while lying down on his stomach. "Figures a Cat would say that…"

Lion-o growled, then turned his head to look anywhere but in the tabbot's eyes. Thoughts were forming in the back of his mind now, and they were nagging at him. He wished someone else, anyone else, would suddenly appear to take his place as Guardian of the Criminal.

"They'll be back soon enough, Lion-o," Panthro said, suddenly appearing right beside him.

"Wha? Oh...yeah, no, I'm fine. I'll wait patiently."

Panthro only snickered and shrugged in response, then walked with Mandora back over to the the Charger, arms full of metal and electronic scraps. Lion-o took a deep breath, trying to let it go.

"So tell me," Panthro said, yanking out the headlamp on the front of the bike. "What's your story, Mandora?"

"Story?" she replied, a bit suspiciously. "I don't tell stories, mister. Only the facts."

"Nah, I mean, where you from? How'd you end up way out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Oh." She took a moment to lower her personal shields just a bit, then began ripping out the damaged touch-sensitive screen in the dashboard. "I mentioned already I'm an Evil Chaser, First Class. I'm working under the Intergalactic Federal Law to keep order in the known galaxy."

"So you did," he nodded. "You been with 'em long?"

"My whole life," she answered shortly, tossing the broken equipment into a pile. "Chasing evil is all I've ever known."

"Your whole life? Even when you were just a kid?"

"My oldest memory is my first day on the job," she answered, this time a bit distantly. "If there WAS a life before that, I wouldn't know."

Panthro frowned as he secured the headlamp and used his mechanical finger to screw it into place. "...well that's a little sad. Everyone should remember their own history."

"I remember my history just fine," she replied, automatically now. "I can recite every single case I've ever worked on, even the ones the Intergalactic Federal Law refuses to keep on file."

"That ain't the same…" Panthro started, then shook his head. "But you know what, it's none of my business. Your history is what it is, whether I agree with it or not."

"Agreed."

For a few moments after that, a necessary silence floated between them, punctured only by the soft rustle of the thorny bushes. Panthro found himself still curious though, especially about the identity of this so-called Intergalactic Federal Law...but now he wasn't sure how far he could push his luck with someone like Mandora. Her 100% no-nonsense demeanor...well, it didn't SCARE him, but it another enemy was the last thing the Cats needed at this point. He couldn't help but wonder though, if she really had forgotten her childhood. Could you really forget your own entire history? Everyone had a past. Even he himself had been a child once.

Maybe she was just blocking hers out...

"So…" he finally prompted, if only to break the silence and stop thinking about it all, "Where exactly is this Intergalactic Federal Law located at anyway?"

"Why do you need to know that information?" she asked, suddenly wearing her sharp suspicion again.

"Nothin'. Just curious, geez."

"My-nipples."

"...what?"

"What?"

Panthro blinked. "I musta had dirt in my ear. What'd you say?"

"What did I say?" Mandora repeated, setting aside the cooling fan she'd been installing.

"Sounded like you said 'my nipples'," he said, trying not to snicker. "But I know that can't be right."

"Nipples?" she repeated again, looking down. "I'm sure I didn't say anything, least of all something like that. Nipples have no place in this conversation."

"I'm gonna have to agree," Panthro said, turning away to grin.

"Then why did you say I said that?" she demanded. "Macaroni-salad."

Panthro turned around and shot her a funny look. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling fuzzy-wuzzy-fuzzum fine," she said, testily. "Is this some kind of joke to you? I-have-a-hundred-farts-stuck-in-my-butt."

He could only stare back in confused awe, mouth slightly agape. "...you're tellin' me you can't hear the inane gibberish comin' out of your mouth right now?"

"What gibberish?" she pressed, slamming her palms on the seat of the Charger. "Butt-volcano."

"Listen to yourself!"

Mandora hesitated. She knew she wasn't hearing anything erratic; her sentences had all been immaculate and grammatically correct. She'd undergone extensive training in communicating effectively to both perpetrators and witnesses alike, as per Intergalatic Federal Law spec. So how could all those weeks of ceaseless practice have inexplicably gone to waste?

"I'm speaking very clearly," she enunciated, slowly and deliberately.

"You just said 'wiener fish wiener fish wiener fish nice to meet you wiener fish'."

"I...I don't understand," she said, putting a hand to the side of her visor. "I'd better run a diagnostic on my speech protocols."

"Diagnostic??"

She sat motionless, staring straight ahead at nothing as a small pinpoint of light traveled back and forth over the band of the visor. So the helmet wasn't just for show, Panthro noted, though still completely lost. He wondered exactly what sort of things it might be capable of…

"Wait a poop-shooter minute," Mandora finally said, still looking straight ahead. "I'm being fed speech commands from an external source. Purple-monkey-dishwasher. Someone is directly manipulating my bazooka-boobies speech!"

It took Panthro a minute to get to his feet, in between holding back chuckles, but he did eventually find his serious face again. "...I suppose that makes an inch more sense when you put it that way. But who would be manipulating you?"

"Who else would make me say babble-berbil-bubble-butt?" she asked, coldly. "That rotten bandit!"

She hopped over the Electro-Charger and stood in the open, turning this way and that, looking around sharply for any detectable hint of movement. "Come on out, you coward! We have a score to settle! Hippopotamus!"

The wind wafted gently through the campsite for a moment, just enough to tickle the thorn bushes, but not enough to cause a stir. A distinct lack of sound could be heard from either edge of the cliffside. There hadn't been many options for that bandit to run off to in the first place. He had to be very close by still, especially if he was still feeding her speech. But all she could hear was the gentle rustle of the bushes…

...without the help of a breeze?

Her visor flashed red. She leapt into the air without warning, catapulting herself straight into the brambles below. Panthro saw her crash, and watched as her body thrashed about in the sharp thorny mess. He saw a punch. A twist. The snap and slice of prickers ripping into leather. A gasp and a wheeze.

And at last, Mandora resurfaced, covered head to foot in fresh new scratches and tears, but also carrying a very defeated-looking Balkis in tow.

"And that's the way the crapsack-crackerjack cookie crumbles!" she said, tossing her tormentor over to the waiting arms of Panthro.

"So hang on now," Panthro said, his iron claws clamped hard around Balkis' wrists. "You're tellin' me this little punk was 'feeding' you words to say? He was literally puttin' words in your mouth?"

"That about sums it up."

"But how? Was he using some kind of...cheap party magic or something?"

"Probaby a speech-to-text transmitter of some kind," Mandora said with a hand wave as she inspected the damage to her armor. "Simple technology really, though very impractical."

"Technology?" Lion-o's voice piped up from within the tent. He poked his head around the corner. "Someone was using tech to manipulate your voice? Doesn't sound like any tech I've ever heard of...".

"And just how much technology HAVE you heard of?" Panthro asked, eyebrow cocked.

"...okay, fair point," he muttered. "Still, doesn't that sound weird?"

"What's weird about it?" Mandora asked, resuming repairs on the Electro-Charger. "Like I said, it's a simple device. It converts the sound wave pattern of the user's voice into a simple text format and relays the text to whatever source it's aimed at. Learned that in my first week, rookie."

Lion-o didn't even have time to frown over the 'rookie' remark as his expression lit up. "Wait, that would mean that you...I mean, all of you...your whole body, you're all tech!"

"More tech than not, anyway," she replied, carefully fusing two small wires together.

Without a moment's hesitation, Lion-o pushed his captive Terbel over to Panthro and scrambled over toward her. "Amazing...we've run into many characters who have tried to improve or augment their bodies using technology...often with disastrous results."

"Hey!" Panthro shot back.

"It had to be this way," Mandora replied, hesitating just for a moment before slamming the control panel casing shut again. "But that's not what I'm here to talk about today. Now that the Electro-Charger is back in action, it's high time I hauled these two felons off to their rightful place."

Both bandits shuffled uneasily as Mandora packed them in tightly to the sidecar of the bike, firmly reaffixing their shackles so as to make escape either impossible or extremely fatal. Neither of them were wearing the gritty faces of the hardened criminals Mandora had made them out to be now, and in fact they looked more terrified than anything else. Lion-o almost said something, but decided against it. Mandora seemed to know what she was doing, and there was no shame in admitting that he already had enough to deal with as it was...best interest would be not to stir up any unnecessary trouble right now.

"So, you've got it all taken care of from here?" he asked, eyeing the scratches on her armor as she straddled the bike.

"As I've already mentioned, several times now, I might add," she replied, turning again to face him with her unsettling, glowing visor eye. "I'm escorting these crooks to Wayoutback Island, then reporting back to Headquarters to file an official report on the matter. I'll be sure to include your names."

Lion-o and Panthro exchanged glances uneasily.

"Just standard policy," she added, brushing it away. "And also in case I ever find myself back in the area and need your assistance. Thanks again."

And with a crank of her wrist, the Electro-Charger revved to life with a mechanical roar and a burst of clean-burning fumes that made even the jaded old Panthro proud. Mandora wheeled the bike around and gave them both one final two-fingered salute, then shot forward like a rocket, her ride humming much quieter than anything so fast should ever have a right to. Panthro made a mental note to ask more about the bike if they ever saw her again.

Lion-o turned to him. "Well...that was unexpected."

"Quite a story to tell," he agreed. "Hard to believe a hardened bandit out in this country would resort to something so immature, though."

"Yeah…I guess some people are just--wait."

"What?"

"I heard something."

He crept over toward the thorn bushes, peering around the edge where they met the rim of the cliffside. Somewhere he knew he had heard a tiny skittering or scuffling, like the sound of loose dirt and rocks. He held a hand up to Panthro, who silently curled his hands into fists. Just a little further over the edge…

...stood Wilykit and Kat, standing precariously on a narrow ledge just beneath the overhanging lip of thorn bushes, their backs pressed tightly against the cliffside. Kat looked up and flashed him a toothy smile. "Hi!"

"What are you doing down there?" Lion-o asked, pulling himself to his feet and placing his hands on his hips.

"Nothing!" Kit answered immediately.

"That's an awfully conspicuous place to be doing nothing."

"Well, that's what we're doing down here!" Kat replied. "Conspicuously or not!"

"Do you even know what that word means?" Panthro asked, deflating and dropping his guard.

"Do YOU?" Kit shot back, sticking out her tongue.

"When did you get back, anyway?" Lion-o continued. "We really could have used your help just a bit ago."

"We WERE helping!" Kat insisted, strafing his way along the ledge back toward camp. "We were gonna nab the bad guys in case they took a tumble off the cliff!"

"Yeah, right." Panthro said, shaking his head. "You were just there to eavesdrop, and I know it."

"Why would we need to eavesdrop?" Kit asked deviously, flashing a curiously-shaped knickknack she held in one hand as she climbed the ledge with her other. "We knew EXACTLY what she was going to say!"

Both Lion-o and Panthro stared at the device in her hand. It looked like a small slingshot, or maybe a tuning fork, with a megaphone cone jutting out from the middle, and a curved band just behind that. It looked like a child's homemade arts and crafts project gone awry...

...and yet Lion-o knew exactly what it was.

"That was YOU messing with Mandora's speech?"

"Yup!" Kat said, holding it up to his face. "What a classic prank, eh?"

"Heh, yeah, that was pretty funny," Panthro chuckled to himself, but stopped short when Lion-o sent a disapproving frown in his direction. "...but also dangerous. You don't know what Mandora's capable of, or how she might have reacted if she'd caught you...and who taught you all those nasty words, anyway?"

"We knew she wouldn't catch us!" Kit protested. "It was all harmless fun and you know it, ya old butt volcano!"

"Why you…" he growled.

"Don't," Lion-o said, stepping between them. "Just...be careful next time."

"Next time?" Kat said, cocking his head.

"I don't think we've seen our last of Mandora, Evil Chaser, First Class," he replied, looking both kittens in the eye. "...and frankly, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when I tell her YOU were the one who made her say 'wiener fish'."

Kit giggled, amused at having come up with that one herself, then stopped when she remembered the severity of Mandora voice during the fight. She handed the device over to Lion-o, then sighed, then slouched, then pouted. "Leave it to Lion-o to ruin all our fun…come on, Kat, let's go somewhere where Lion-o can't steal all the fun out of the room!"

Panthro watched the kittens skitter off together, then turned to Lion-o, who had turned his head skyward into the neon orange glow of the ensuing sunset. "You really think we'll cross paths with her again?"

A moment passed before Lion-o responded with "Maybe. I don't think she ran into us by accident...but I'm sure we'll all be fine."

He tossed the converter to Panthro and grinned. "...just as long as we don't break any more laws."


End file.
